


[S] Karkat Be A Fanboy

by TheAlternativeRuler



Category: Homestuck
Genre: I was just a few minutes too late but meh better late than never, International Fanworks Day 2015, John is a good boyfriend kind of, Karkat being a fanboy, M/M, The Mark of Athena, spoilers and stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 05:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3369536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAlternativeRuler/pseuds/TheAlternativeRuler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Karkat is infatuated with the Percy Jackson books and struggles to finally finish the Mark of Athena.</p>
            </blockquote>





	[S] Karkat Be A Fanboy

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the International Fanworks Day celebration. Happy (a few minutes too late) International Fanworks Day, everyone! I challenge you to participate in the celebration, write a fanfic about your favorite character being a fangirl/boy, draw some fanart of your favorite character crushing on the fictional love of their life, just have fun with it!
> 
> (By the way, this has no relation to the song "[S] Karkat Be A Fanboy" by Broadway Karkat, although it would be fun to listen to the song---or any Broadway Karkat song---while reading this.)
> 
> Homestuck and its characters belong to Andrew Hussie, the Percy Jackson books belong to Rick Riordan.
> 
> This is also Humanstuck so the trolls are on earth and go to high school and shit.
> 
> WARNING: Spoilers for The Mark of Athena and lots of cussing.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you hate your math teacher with a fiery passion.

So what if you were supposed to be taking notes on the new lesson? It should be your choice if you want to fail the class so you can finish The Mark of Athena. Screw her, taking your book till the end of the day. 

Bitches are gonna bitch, you guess.

You run as quickly as you can from your last period class to get to your math class, and take the book back. (You may or may not have glared and shared a certain gesture with her turned back on your way out the door).

You almost miss your bus, but it was still worth getting the book. Finally, you'll know if they can save Nico in time!

...Except you forgot one very fucking important detail.

You're on your bus. Your bus that is so full of kids it's like a goddamn high school football arena. There's about as much noise too. The bus is trailing screams, cusses, life-threats, flirts, and utter asininity everywhere you go. You can't read in this shitty atmosphere, and it fucking sucks.

"Why are you so down, Karkles?" Terezi questions with a wry grin, laughing her weird, screechy cackle.

"I can't fucking read on this goddamn bus and I couldn't read all day. Mrs. Crocker took my book in first period," you grumble, crossing your arms and trying to hear your own thoughts over the cacophony of a high school bus.

"She's a bitch," Terezi comments, and leaves it at that. You agree whole-fucking-heartedly. "So what book?"

"The Mark of Athena," you answer, staring longingly at your backpack where it sits, unfinished and waiting for you.

"Oh my God, I LOVE the Percy Jackson books!" she exclaims.

You look at her skeptically. "You do?"

She rolls her eyes. "DUH! They're amazing, and I must be affiliated with anything amazing."

You roll your eyes in return, but grin a little despite yourself. It's always fun to find a fellow fan. "So who's your favorite character?"

"Leo Valdez, of course. And you?"

"Nico di Angelo, definitely. He's a fucking badass," you state.

Terezi giggles and raises an eyebrow. "Got a little fanboy crush their, do ya Vantas?"

You scoff. "Of course not. I just respect that he's pretty fucking cool. And he's probably the most interesting character in the whole motherfucking series with the best story and the best messages."

Terezi shakes her head. "No way, it's definitely Leo."

"Leo Valdez is a little shit. Sure he has some development, but his messages are nothing compared to Nico's," you argue, getting a bit defensive.

"Leo's are way better! The way he lost his mom and how he's struggled through life with no friends or family!" Terezi defends.

"Oh hell no, do not make me go on a rant about Nico's messages. You will not survive the fucking onslaught of words that will pummel you into submission until you are praising di Angelo's name," you warn.

Thankfully, she saves you the fucking effort by getting off at her stop soon after. The bus is significantly emptier now, and it's not so suffocatingly loud.

You pull out your book and get to reading, blocking out the rest of the world as best as you can. You're only a few pages past where you started when suddenly you hear, "Vantas! Ass of the bus, bookworm!"

You flush and quickly sling your backpack strap over your shoulder. You haul ass off the bus and find out you're a few blocks away from your stop, since you're at the last fucking stop of the neighborhood.

You love Rick Riordan, but his books are making your life hell.

~*~*~*~*

You finally make it home, only to smack right the fuck into the front door since you were reading.

"Ow! Goddammit! Stupid motherfucking door," you complain, opening said door and slamming it closed.

You read your way through the hall and are just about to get into your room when suddenly The Mark of Athena is ripped from your hands.

"WHO THE FUCK-" You stop shouting in rage when you see it's Kanaya, your older sister. She plucked it right from your hands and is currently dangling it above your reach. Damn her for being taller than you!

"Karkat. We just received your latest progress report in the mail, and it did not look promising," she scolds lightly, looking disappointedly at your aggravated expression.

"I don't give a fuck! Give me back my book, Kanaya! I'm finally getting close to the end and I didn't get to read all day because of fucking Mrs. Crocker!" You jump for it, but you're still not getting high enough to reach it! The Mark of Athena eludes you and it fucking sucks balls!

"Karkat! You are failing or barely passing most of your classes! I cannot allow you to continue like this! If your grades do not improve, you will not be able to pass many classes which will prevent you from eventually graduating! I know that you're better than this, Kadkat. You and I both do. So until I see an improvement in your grades, I am not allowing you to read for pleasure. Especially not The Mark of Athena." And so, Kanaya rips out your fucking heart and soul with a simple chastising.

Your eyes start to water and you feel so weak, but Goddammit you were so fucking close! You're only a few chapters away, but it'll take you for-fucking-ever to pull those stupidass grades back up! Why does everything have to be so motherfucking horrible!?

Angrily, you dash a hand across your eyes and run to your room before the waterworks start. You slam your door and the whole house shakes, but you don't give a flying fuck about that. All you care about is that your life is one bigass fucking joke and you will never get to finish that book!

You want to hit something so badly, so you prop your pillow up against your desk chair and start beating the shit out of it. You're crying, your face is probably a mess, but you don't fucking care. Nothing even matters anymore. Life is a meaningless void, a cruel joke, a trivial speck.

In the middle of your rage-session, Kanaya walks in on you. You're about ready to punch her, except you know you'd never really hurt her, no matter how pissed you are.

She sits you down on your bed and looks at you, motherly concern oozing from her in waves of affection, worry, and love. "Karkat, are you alright?"

"No," you snap, crossing your arms and refusing to look at her.

She sighs deeply and says, "I am sorry. I know this hurts, but I am doing it for your own good, you know that."

You eventually look up and give her the most pitiable look you can muster. With your eyes and nose dripping, lips quivering, and eyebrows furrowed, you think you're doing a pretty fucking good job. Kanaya starts squirming, trying to avoid your eyes, but you don't let her escape that easily.

After a few minutes, she can't take it anymore. "Oh, alright, fine! Here!" She tosses the book back in your lap and you break into the most shit-eating grin you've ever worn in your life. You hug the book with one arm, and her with the other. You can hear her grumbling about horribly adorable, pitiable eyes. 

You let her go and she grabs your shoulders, holding you at arms' length and looking right into your eyes. "Karkat, I am giving you back your book because I cannot resist those kicked-puppy eyes, but my concerns still stand. I want your grades to go up, I want you to succeed, okay? Please try, for me."

You nod and she smiles. "Good. I'll leave you to read, then." With a final apologetic kiss to your forehead, your sister exits your room.

"Fina-fucking-lly!" you yell, jumping up before landing on your stomach across your mattress.

You get to reading immediately, once again losing yourself in the fantastic world that Rick Riordan has created.

~*~*~*~*

You're so engaged in your book (C'mon Annabeth, you can trick her, come the fuck on! You have to!) that it scares you shitless when someone suddenly sits on your bed next to you and cheerfully says, "Hi, Karkat!"

You jumps about two feet in the air and start yelling at Egbert for scaring the crap out of you. He laughs his dorky little laugh and apologizes, not that it sounds too sincere. You grumble and return to your book.

"So...what book are you reading?" John asks, draping over your back to look over your shoulder.

"The Mark of Athena. Now shut the fuck up, I'm trying to finish it," you answer, reading faster and faster and burrowing your nose deeper and deeper into the chasm of the book's spine.

John sighs, but stops talking. You'll have to thank him later, right now, you're fucking busy. Karkat Vantas has left the Goddamn building.

You both sit there like that for quite some time as you read more and more, flying through the pages. You get ever-closer to the end, and then it happens.

Everything finally started to look like it was going right for the Seven, and now this. You're running a steady stream of 'Cut the fucking web, cut it the fuck off her ankle you Goddamn, motherfucking idiot!' through your head as your eyes flit across the lines.

And all of the sudden there Annabeth goes, sliding down into the pit with Percy going right with her. You take a sharp intake of breath and raise a fist so you can bite your knuckles. This prompts John to sit up and stare at you quizzically, but you ignore him.

"Karkat? Are you okay?" he questions, but you don't answer.

'Oh thank God, he caught the fucking ledge. Cutting it way too damn close, aren't you Percy?' You read and read and read and as you go you start draining of color and you're hyperventilating because holy fucking shit you see where this is going but you don't want it to.

Everyone is too busy with that Goddamn statue and there's no way Nico will be able to save them both when he's as weak as he is. Days with no food or water will do that to you.

John sits all the way up and off you and you immediately sit up as well and curl into a ball on your mattress. You're rocking slightly, one hand holding the book and turning pages with your thumb, the other being bitten all along the knuckles as your eyes tear up.

"Karkat, what's wrong? What happened?" John asks, touching your shoulder comfortingly and giving you a cautious but worried look.

You still don't answer, reading faster and faster. Words are fucking blurring and you realize it's because of tears welling up and spilling over like it's fucking Niagara Falls in your eyes. Then it happens. The moment your heart breaks into a millions little shitty pieces of what it used to be, never to be mended.

Your eyes are leaking like a busted pipe, your nose dripping, your shoulders shaking, and you're about to flip your fucking shit in three, two, one...

"THEY FELL!!!!" You cry and scream, closing the book as your hands clench into angry fists. John jumps back from you, surprised at the sudden outburst. 

"THEY FUCKING FELL!!!! INTO GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TARTARUS WITH ARACHNE FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!" You angrily throw the book across the room, and it hits the opposite wall with a thud and falls to the ground.

John looks kind of scared, but you don't care. You're fucking pissed beyond all reason. "WHY!? WHY WOULD HE DO THAT TO US, WHY!? PERCY AND ANNABETH CAN'T SURVIVE, NICO BARELY SURVIVED DOWN THERE, HOW DO THEY STAND A CHANCE!!?? AND HE WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE!!! NICO WAS SO CLOSE TO GETTING THEM BUT HE DIDN'T AND NOW EVERYONE WHO WAS FUCKING BUSY WITH A GODDAMN STATUE IS GOING TO BLAME HIM!!!" You're pacing around your room, throwing things, making a mess, crying, and screaming out obscenities at Rick Riordan, that fucking King of Trolls.

After what seems like for-fucking-ever, you calm down enough that your rage has time to turn to utter despairing agony. You wince as you pick up your book, cradle it to your chest, and plop back onto your bed. You curl up into a pitiful little shit in the corner and hug the book, crying and muttering strings of your rant, but with a sadder tone.

John cautiously approaches you, looking scared shitless, but worried nonetheless. "Karkat...a-are you...okay?"

"I-I will NEVER be ok-kay again!" you insist, curling up tighter and crying more tears. You're gonna be able to fill a fucking swimming pool soon.

John stares at you wordlessly for a minute, then sits down on your bed and pulls you to him. He sits you on his lap, still curled into a ball of feels, and rocks you like a child. Normally you'd have his ass for treating you like that, but right now you just want comfort because your feels are shot. You snuggle up to him and cry all over his torso and shoulders, but he's nice enough not to comment. He just rubs your back and lets you get it all out.

"Shh, it's okay, let it all out. Shh," he whispers, cradling you and comforting you like a baby who just had a nightmare. Worst fucking nightmare ever, that's for sure.

You think he's probably the best boyfriend ever, until he says, "Jesus Karkat, you are such a little fanboy."

His goose is fucking cooked, right then and there. All of those sentiments get buried somewhere deep inside and when your heart stops bleeding you are going to punch him in the mouth.


End file.
